Out of the Mouths of Babes

One of my favorite things about little people—meaning children—is their pure and candid honesty. They say it as it is. Come to think of it, at what age and why did we ever stop being so frank ourselves? I suppose it’s that concept of "tact" that eliminates bluntness, but at what cost? The cost of humor, no less. Meaning, kids’ honesty is the most comical entertainment available. It’s beautiful: true, never planned nor rehearsed, and woven throughout the everyday nuances of life.

Thus a story…or two. You remember how I nanny the most precious two-year-old? Well, in accordance to being a fantastically honest and innocent child, she has provided me with some of the most hysterically memorable moments of my life. Just this week she inquired why a woman had “painted her face”. Looking up I thought, Great question. Why did you paint your face? The woman had thick orangey foundation, extravagant blue eye shadow, and flaming red lipstick. It looked as if she had painted her face…

Oh but my favorite story occurred today. Walking through Central Park this afternoon, we meandered down a walkway that cut through a spacious field. The area was labeled “quiet zone”. Consequentially, it attracted many serenity seeking sunbathers… most sporting nothing but a swimsuit (if that).

It was then the little girl I nanny thoughtfully asked, “Where are all of their clothes?”

“Good question,” I responded. Looking back, I now see that was the wrong response. The next thing I knew the little girl was shouting at the top of her lungs,

“PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON! ALL YOU PEOPLE! PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON NOW!”

I hurried to quiet her, but before I could she yelled again—this time directly at two shirtless men walking by.

“YOU! PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON! DISGUSTING! PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON NOW!”

At this, two other passerby ladies responded, “Amen sister!” Perfect.

As I’m sure you can imagine, being a “quiet zone” you couldn’t not hear her. Fortunately, everyone found this outbreak entirely amusing (as opposed to irritating or repulsive?). Laughter broke out across the field and caught like fire. Many even cheered and applauded. For near two minutes this “quiet zone” of half naked people was all but quiet, and all thanks to an innocent two-year-old.

Thank you child. Love her.

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