Have you ever wondered what it means to be “mature”? What does it look like? Is it a relative definition? Am I mature? It seems many narrowly define maturity as what I personally perceive to be “boring”. So, do I even want to be mature? Should I want to be mature? In class yesterday my professor shared the following:

“Emotional maturity is a measure of the extent to which individuals are able to think, plan, know, and follow their own values and self-directed life course, while being emotionally present with others, rather than living reactively by the cues of those close to them. They do not have to spend their life energy on winning approval, attacking others, intellectualizing, keeping themselves emotionally walled off, or maneuvering in relationships to obtain control or emotional comfort.” -McGoldrick & Carter on Bowen

…well I can’t say that I’m “mature”. But I do like that definition. I like that it is not “one size fits all”. This definition seems to embrace differences, rather than demand conformity. I love that my “maturity” can and should look different from anyone else’s. So I wonder, can anyone ever truly define another’s “maturity”? Or in essence, can anyone else ever completely know another’s mind, heart, and convictions? I confess, I am still striving to even fully understand myself…

So perhaps rather than using “maturity” as a label, it should be considered an individual process of a lifetime of self discovery and self mastery. Achieving true “maturity” seems to be a status attainable only in the Heavens. Ha...and welcome to my mind.

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